Fandom: Angel (tv)
Characters: Angel/Gwen
Summary/Teaser: There's a lot of snark.
Warnings: --
Spoilers: "Ground State" (Angel 4.02)
Notes: Written for for doyle_sb4 for Amberina’s Gwen ficathon. The request: Gwen/Angel, during season 4, snark, not set after Players
Word Count: 654

Standard Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and co. own the characters, I'm just playing with them. I do, however, own this story, so don't steal it. Archive it anywhere; just ask first.

Feedback is always appreciated. Make me blush with praise or rip apart the story with criticism, or both.

Thanks to for providing convenient lists of which episodes Gwen appeared in. Thanks to,, and for episode summaries and transcripts. Thanks to Shakespeare for King Lear. Thanks to Emma and dherblay for the Magneto information. Thanks also to Katriena Knights' Gwen/Angel fics.

Electro-Chick and Undead Boy
by Elizabeth Scripturient

"Your girl. Did you ever find her?"

Angel looked up in surprise at the sound of Gwen's voice. The rest of the gang was out, and he had been so deep in thought he hadn't heard her come into the lobby. Her attire was slightly more subdued than when they had first met -- snug jeans and a halter top -- but she still had that air like she owned the place.

"What do you care?"

"Well it seemed pretty damned important to you to find her. I don't usually see guys that passionate about a woman."

"Yes, I suppose in your line of work the only passion you tend to see is in regards highly expensive inanimate objects."

" 'In my line of work'? That's the way people talk about a prostitute!"

"What, you aren't one? Selling your services to the highest bidder? Coulda fooled me."

"Touché. So, does your standoffishness mean you didn't find her?"

"No. It just means you're hardly my favorite person."

"Not your favorite person? I made your heart beat, Mr. Unhappily Undead. This girl's gotta be some piece of work if she's still all you can think of after an experience like that."

"You don't know the first thing about Cordelia," Angel snapped at her angrily.

Gwen snapped her fingers. "Ah yes, Cordelia. Should have remembered. Guys aren't usually yelling other women's names after I'm through with them."

"I'm guessing when you're done with a guy he's probably done screaming."

"This is true. Any guy with strength left in his lungs is probably screaming for his mommy. I try to keep the body count low, though. Most people know not to make me angry."

"I can imagine."

"So if you did find her, where is the lady of the house?" Gwen looked around her.

"I did find her. I just couldn't bring her back with me." He hurried on before Gwen could make a crack about how obviously Cordelia didn't love him enough to come back with him. "She's in a better place now. And I need to learn to let go."

"How poetic. Like the Cordelia of Shakespeare, choosing her Father over any husband. And I, like Guinevere of old, shall take the noble warrior despite being already married."

"You're married?"

"To my work, you twit. I was trying to be poetic. No poetry in that soul of yours, you know that?"

"Poetry's never been my strong suit."

"What is, exactly? Being tall, dark, and brooding?"

"Gwen, why don't you leave?"

"Tossing the lady out? Have you no manners?"

"Be Kent unmannerly when Lear is mad," Angel replied evenly.

"Ah, you have got some poetry in that soul of yours."

"Never underestimate the power of a proper education."

"I wouldn't know. Never really got one. People were mostly busy trying to make sure I didn't kill anyone."

"And yet you know King Lear."

"That and a whole lot more. Girl gets a lot of reading done when she can't safely play with other live people."

Angel nodded sympathetically and reached out his hand. Her skin crackled when he touched her shoulder, but he didn't flinch.

"Too bad vampires don't exist in the X-Men universe, or Rogue could finally get laid," Gwen smiled.

Angel looked blank.

"Nevermind. Pop culture reference. I’m guessing that's never been one of your strong suits either."

"Not recently, no."

"I think she does actually get laid at some point. One of the bad guys, though. Not that I blame her. I mean, you take what you can get."

Angel glared at her.

"Hi, Angel, meet my defense mechanism. Learned early never to let anyone get close so I wouldn't hurt them. Learned later the added bonus that if they didn't get close they couldn't hurt me either. I see you've gotten that down to something of an art form."

"Are you ever going to stop insulting me long enough to kiss me?"

"I thought you’d never ask."

Back to My Fanfic Page